Unkle Samson, Santy Kloss is a makin’ a list.
He (and his gestapo), they are checking it twice (2 x’s a teraflop, using their super-duper, super-computing checklist machine).
Through His state-sponsored, health-care system, He’s (they’re) gonna find out who has been naughty, and for whom the “niceties” are gonna roll.
Of course, cigarettes and those who partake of them will not be on the “good” (geeks call them “white”) lists.
But why stop there, prey-tell (and yes, I know that is more apt for a “preying” mantis…definitely not called that because their little front feet make them look like they are in a perpetual state of prayer – they are hunter-killers, like Santy’s health-CARE gestapo)?
Picture Unkle Samson, Santy with claws as a blood-sucking vampire with fangs. Instead of sucking blood, they suck the green out of your wallet (which leads to a lack of platelets from a lack of proper nutrition). Don’t worry, the money will go to help someone more deserving (and the state-sponsored health-care will define who those classes of people are too – probably the dumb-asses who vote for them, don’t you think?).
He’ll see you (with his big Bro Cam on ever street corner and red light you see), when you’ve been naughty, and when you’ve been nice.
He’ll see you when you eat that big piece of cake that is oh, so, NOT good for you!
He’ll see you when you wear those sporty sweaters made of radon-sucking, man-made (eek-ghads) fibers, spun in a factory that belches (again, eek-ghads and ho, ho, hum) Carbon DEBITS (the boon of ALL the known, little naughty ones).
You see, my pretties, the naughty little ones wear man-made materials (and consume them, like…genetically-engineered corn) and everyone knows it is bad, and that it is so (for Unkle Samson, Santy Klause produced a report from his BI-cameral house of BI-furcated pseudo-scientific politico hob-nobbins); therefore, anything having to do with man or the man-made by definition belches carbon DEBITS, ergo, IT must be STOPPED !
Even though you and the blessed yours weave earth-produced, earth-friendly COTTON (not man-made) fibers, your ass spins them on a spinning wheel. Carbon Credits you say?
What produces the energy for that spinning wheel?
What is Ghandi?
A carbon-based life-form.
What do carbon-based, bean-eating, lifeform energy factories produce?
Carbon Dioxide, methane, GREENHOUSE gasses.
You ARE a carbon DEBIT.
So much for producing earth-friendly diapers from earth-friendly plant life.
Oh yeah. Wait a minute. The plant that produces the cotton balls.
Carbon-based life form.
Damn. What does it produce when it dies and it decays?
Damn Ghandi, for a little narry-assed fella, you and yours produce one HELL of a Carbon Debit.
What about the hippies.
Hell, their asses live on communes and do this stuff.
Hundreds of them.
They produce all kins of carbon debits, what with their tofu-eating ways and all.
Let’s tax the SOB’s, Santy Klause.
Welcome to the club.
Carbon-based, Coal chunks for breakfast anyone? anyone? anyone?*
*(special thanks to Ben Stein, and Jeff Spicoli – beer-drinking, carbon-producing a-hole Carbon DEBIT).
***********************************IRONY OF THE DAY*******************************8
Obama accepts Nobel peace prize while committing his soldiers to an uncertain and tenuous (at best future) while the Russian test fire (and foul up) inter-continental missiles over, you guessed it NORWAY (the Nobel Prize is awarded in Oslo, Norway).
Now how peaceful is that?
Weird (or is it ?).